The very worst part of you... is me.

I love listening to this song when I'm angry and just need something to help me calm me!

"Lying From You"

When I pretend everything is what I want it to be
I look exactly like what you had always wanted to see
When I pretend, I can’t forget about the criminal I am
Stealing second after second just cause I know I can but
I can’t pretend this is the way it’ll stay I’m just
(trying to bend the truth)
I can’t pretend I’m who you want me to be, so I’m

[Chorus:]
(Lying my way from you)
No no turning back now
(I wanna be pushed aside so let me go)
No no turning back now
(Let me take back my life,I’d rather be all alone)
No turning back now
(Anywhere on my own cause I can see)
No no turning back now
(The very worst part of you is me)

I remember what they taught to me
Remember condescending talk of who I ought to be
Remember listening to all of that and this again
So I pretended up a person who was fittin’ in
And now you think this person really is me and I’m
(Trying to bend the truth)
But the more I push the more I'm pulling away 'cause I'm

[Chorus:]
(Lying my way from you)
No no turning back now
(I wanna be pushed aside so let me go)
No no turning back now
(Let me take back my life I’d rather be all alone)
No turning back now
(Anywhere on my own cause I can see)
No no turning back now
(The very worst part of you)
(The very worst part of you is ME)

This isn’t what I wanted to be, I never thought that what I said would
have you running from me
Like This
This isn’t what I wanted to be, I never thought that what I said would
have you running from me
Like This
This isn’t what I wanted to be, I never thought that what I said would
have you running from me
Like This
This isn’t what I wanted to be, I never thought that what I said would
have you running from me
Like This

[Chorus:]
(You)
No turning back now
(I wanna be pushed aside so let me go)
No no turning back now
(Let me take back my life I’d rather be all alone)
No turning back now
(Anywhere on my own cause I can see)
No no turning back now
(The very worst part of you)
(The very worst part of you is me)

TEAM EDWARD!

.... Just sayin!

It's been awhile...

...since I posted on here... well what to tell, what to tell...

I got laid off at the end of January. Our store was closed down due to the Supermall raising the rent, and our sales didn't justify paying that much. I am trying to get back into the pharmacy field. I have to take a test and become nationally certified, and I have been studying like crazy for that. But I am also looking for a job till I get back into the pharmacy deal.

For the past week I have been incredibly sick... no fun! I was in bed Monday and Tuesday. Felt a little better on Wednesday during the day, and ended back in the emergency room Wednesday night/Thursday morning. I had already been in the er, but all they did was give me fluids do some blood work and send me home. They basically told me "You have a viral infection" ...... ok? So I come home and Sunday night (Valentine's Day) I start to get an itchy throat. "great!" I think to myself. Then commence staying in bed for 3 days! Turns out I have an upper respiratory infection. FUN FUN FUN!

I am slowly getting better, I have no voice and no energy. I am still not able to keep any food down, which sucks, cause I am tired of soup and popsicles :(

On a happier note I dyed my black again ha ha, and I have lost 5 lbs, and got a new pair of jeans heh heh

My niece is growing and growing! I cannot believe how big she is getting! She is the prettiest little thing in the world!

Her face! So cute!

After the chocolate covered strawberry! :P

She loves her pa pa!

Looking all tough n' stuff and only 1!! Don't mess with her :p

OUR NEW HOME!

So Brian and I finally moved into our own place. Well we have been here for a little while, but I am slow at getting posts on here. We are enjoying our privacy... In our old home we inhabited the downstairs, and all the noise upstairs is now gone. YAY! No more loud bangs on the floor, no loud parties, no fighting (the other roomies) , no cops, no dealing with the wrong kind of people. Just me and Brian.. well and our little fluff ball Lily. She is fun but Brian isn't too sure about her... She is quite the little spaz! Well I have also attached some pics of our house. Its coming along slowly but it is getting there! Enjoy! I will also try to keep up with this a little bit more :)



This is our living room.



Closer look at the fireplace... can't really see it but we have a werewolf & vampire chess set!


.
The dining area.




And my lovely kitchen!

Big step for me... kinda

So, my boyfriend and I are getting our own place on the 25th. I am super excited but it is a big step. I mean we have been living together since we started dating basically. But now it will be just us, and maybe this is what we need to take some of the stress off our relationship. I know living here has really put strain on us. Dealing with the roommates and the drama that goes on here on a consistent basis. I do care about him a lot and I have faith that this will make things better. More time to focus on us rather then hearing the noise upstairs and the constant banging :P I am really excited about our new place though. Its really nice and it will be ours! Just us and our space! Decorating it the way I want and being able to feel comfortable in my surroundings. I am excited. Although.. being alone at night is going to be strange, cause living here there was always someone home heh heh.

Strength...

At times I feel as though I have no strength against certain people. I let "this woman" talk to me in a way that should not be allowed but I can never seem to stand up for myself. She is probably one of the most judgmental people I have ever come into contact with.

I feel like I have lost my strength in other places too. I always seem to forget the one person I can always turn too but I never know what the answer is. Which path I should choose, or if it's even a debate and I am just over thinking. I tend to do that A LOT... which is probably what I am doing as of right now. Heh... guess its time for bed.

>_<

I am bored... as usual. So I am going to rant on here.

I don't understand where consideration for others went... I guess I am growing up quite a bit, although I am denial about my age. I am only 28 but ugh it's 2 years to 30 =P

I guess one of my biggest pet peeves has become two-faced actions. Being nice to me, and acting as though you like to me to my face but then saying things that ARE not true to someone who barely knows me and could be persuaded to think bad things about me. Especially when this person opinion about me is very important to me.

I have been trying for the past couple months to get a better job. I am really growing tired of working at the mall. My intelligence and skills are being wasted there. I have knowledge, and experience that would be handy in the pharmacy, but alas, it is next to impossible to get a job. Even another part time job would be DELIGHTFUL. I appreciate that I do atleast have a job, which is why I haven't stormed off... abandoning the job. Cause I need it. Hmm tis another trial in life I must overcome.

This whole H1N1 virus has made the mall incredibly slow as well. The other night we had only made about $400 the whole night, with a $160 deposit... people don't have the money for movies, music, and media players these days. Hopefully things will get better... I know everyone in my house in paranoid about catching it... telling me I should go to the doctor because I was sick the other day... greasy food + no gallbladder = UPSET TUMMY (bad idea on my part) but man was it DELICIOUS!

Anywho... I'm done ranting.. boredom does this to me. Plus things @ home could be lots better... I hope it happens soon.