Whelmed...

I am not overwhelmed, nor am I underwhelmed... I am just whelmed. I get to go see my Gramma and Grandpa Walker tomorrow which is going to be nice. I miss them all the time. I was going thru some old pictures... and I found one of my wedding... and my grandpa was in it. I just realized I have never let myself deal with his passing... I think the more I put in the back of my mind the more I feel like he is still here with me. I miss him so so much.. I just wish there was a way I could tell him how much I miss him and love him.. My life has changed so much in the last 3 years its a little overwhelming, but like I said, I am whelmed.. :p

I guess on a more positive note.. I am down just about 15lbs.. not even really trying.. oh well. <-- see my face is skinnier ha ha

New pics of Sorcha, one of me and others just cause!

D & D Set up!


Aaron and Brian playing D&D


An exciting time getting my butt beat by Brian and his UBERLY EPIC deck!


New Pic of me! 5/17/2010 (look good for 29)


Me and my sister on the tilt-a-whirl ha ha priceless!!


My mommy & daddy when they were pregnant with me!


The lovely Miss Sorcha Rose after dinner @ Red Robin! :P


Again with her BEAUTIFUL SMILE!! When we were out to dinner for my b-day

Beginning to wonder...

So I post on here... but I am not sure if anyone even reads these... I am not sure if I should just delete my blog and stick with facebook or what. But, just in case anyone does read this...

I have been on a diet... Lost about 10lbs so far. I have been working for ACS and its driving me nuts! Most the time I am not even sure I know what I am doing. I had injured my hand last week and was in a splint, and unable to work, excused from the Doctor at the ER, I called in everyday, but for some reason they had me as no call/no show... so I was close to being fired EVEN though I had called and had the log in my phone.. but anywho... So I go to work on Saturday.. and I am still in my splint... They put me on floor support... according to my supervisor I am "self-sufficient, have good stats and handle time" so according to her and my stats I am doing better than I had thought that I was.. but its whatever! I got a call from Sears and they want to hire me on as a cashier, I accepted. But then my friend Amy told me that the Fred Meyer Pharmacy in Auburn may be hiring for a tech so she said she would have her manager look at my application. I did send in my application to get my certificate renewed so now I am just waiting on that. I feel like I am finally accomplishing some stuff. Whats also weird... I will be Amanda De Leon again on the 18th.. weird.. divorce has been a long time coming. It was the right thing, its just weird being Amanda Dovre for soooo long and now I am going back to my maiden name. But alas! I am rambling... I shall bid thee goodnight! Hope all is well.. still debating on if I should delete my blog... meh... g'night!

My job...

So I started a new job back in March. At first it was tough because getting up at 4am is not easy for me :p but now I am working 8-430 and who knew sitting on a phone and taking calls could be so exhausting! My voice is all raspy, I have had a headache for 2 days, and I basically get yelled at everyday. Which is fun! Not really... people like to call in and blame you for their lack of common sense. I try to brush it off but sometimes the picking gets to be too much, and I just really want to take off my headset and leave, I can see how some people develop thick skin working with this company. You kinda need to have it. Other then that the job is alright :p As far as life, its been going alright. I have a new love in the music area.. Lady Gaga.. her music is so catchy! I have been listening to a lot of music lately because it helps me get rid of built up anger. Its better than taking my anger out on the wall which is what I have been known to do... hence the fractured hand @ Christmas time.. presents were not fun to open! I am currently in the process of getting my pharmacy license back! Which I am super stoked about! I cannot wait to get back into that field! It's where I am suppose to be! But anywho.. that is my update for now! Hope all is well out there.. and I will try to stop punching walls! :)

The very worst part of you... is me.

I love listening to this song when I'm angry and just need something to help me calm me!

"Lying From You"

When I pretend everything is what I want it to be
I look exactly like what you had always wanted to see
When I pretend, I can’t forget about the criminal I am
Stealing second after second just cause I know I can but
I can’t pretend this is the way it’ll stay I’m just
(trying to bend the truth)
I can’t pretend I’m who you want me to be, so I’m

[Chorus:]
(Lying my way from you)
No no turning back now
(I wanna be pushed aside so let me go)
No no turning back now
(Let me take back my life,I’d rather be all alone)
No turning back now
(Anywhere on my own cause I can see)
No no turning back now
(The very worst part of you is me)

I remember what they taught to me
Remember condescending talk of who I ought to be
Remember listening to all of that and this again
So I pretended up a person who was fittin’ in
And now you think this person really is me and I’m
(Trying to bend the truth)
But the more I push the more I'm pulling away 'cause I'm

[Chorus:]
(Lying my way from you)
No no turning back now
(I wanna be pushed aside so let me go)
No no turning back now
(Let me take back my life I’d rather be all alone)
No turning back now
(Anywhere on my own cause I can see)
No no turning back now
(The very worst part of you)
(The very worst part of you is ME)

This isn’t what I wanted to be, I never thought that what I said would
have you running from me
Like This
This isn’t what I wanted to be, I never thought that what I said would
have you running from me
Like This
This isn’t what I wanted to be, I never thought that what I said would
have you running from me
Like This
This isn’t what I wanted to be, I never thought that what I said would
have you running from me
Like This

[Chorus:]
(You)
No turning back now
(I wanna be pushed aside so let me go)
No no turning back now
(Let me take back my life I’d rather be all alone)
No turning back now
(Anywhere on my own cause I can see)
No no turning back now
(The very worst part of you)
(The very worst part of you is me)

TEAM EDWARD!

.... Just sayin!

It's been awhile...

...since I posted on here... well what to tell, what to tell...

I got laid off at the end of January. Our store was closed down due to the Supermall raising the rent, and our sales didn't justify paying that much. I am trying to get back into the pharmacy field. I have to take a test and become nationally certified, and I have been studying like crazy for that. But I am also looking for a job till I get back into the pharmacy deal.

For the past week I have been incredibly sick... no fun! I was in bed Monday and Tuesday. Felt a little better on Wednesday during the day, and ended back in the emergency room Wednesday night/Thursday morning. I had already been in the er, but all they did was give me fluids do some blood work and send me home. They basically told me "You have a viral infection" ...... ok? So I come home and Sunday night (Valentine's Day) I start to get an itchy throat. "great!" I think to myself. Then commence staying in bed for 3 days! Turns out I have an upper respiratory infection. FUN FUN FUN!

I am slowly getting better, I have no voice and no energy. I am still not able to keep any food down, which sucks, cause I am tired of soup and popsicles :(

On a happier note I dyed my black again ha ha, and I have lost 5 lbs, and got a new pair of jeans heh heh

My niece is growing and growing! I cannot believe how big she is getting! She is the prettiest little thing in the world!

Her face! So cute!

After the chocolate covered strawberry! :P

She loves her pa pa!

Looking all tough n' stuff and only 1!! Don't mess with her :p